Life in the fantasy world of the Meta Universe Facebook

You can think of the meta universe as an embodied Internet, where instead of just browsing the content, you are in it. And you feel present with other people, as if you are in other places, you have different impressions that you can’t make in a 2D application or a web page, like dancing, for example. . . . I think we will effectively move from people who see us mostly as a social media company to a meta-universe company. – Mark Zuckerburg for The Verge

Content security

The moderator drew his katana. The goal was close.

The moderator was a terrible warrior here in the meta-universe of Facebook – a huge digital world in which you could be anyone (waiting for Facebook approval), go anywhere (to show ads) and do anything (that generates revenue from advertising or is part of a larger strategy profit). Here you can be a cruel centaur jumping to work in your virtual office, or a ten-foot Greek god who buys glassware in imitation of Crate & Barrel.

But the metauniverse was also a dangerous place, and the Moderator’s task was to ensure its safety. Nazi propaganda, fraud, images with visible female nipples outside the context of art or breastfeeding – the danger was around the corner.

The moderator’s heart rate was increased. Dangerous content was just a few steps away. Any worthy moderator could remove a person’s visible female nipple outside the context of art or breastfeeding, but it was not a visible human human nipple outside the context of art or breastfeeding; it wasn’t even a close-up of the buttocks outside the context of political satire – it meant the anus.

The Moderator moved to strike, but the image with the implicit anus just in time saw the shadow of the Moderator approaching and flew into the sky like a sail in the wind.

Telemedicine

“Welcome to the Zuckerberg-Chan Virtual Medical Center,” said Nurse Chris. “Dr. Baytner will see you now.”

The door opened, and Dr. Bytner came in, waving a lab coat at her. “CHRIST, I WON A FIVE HUNDRED GIFT GIFT CARD FOR RAY-BAN SUNGLASSESShe shouted. “I HAVE A LINK, BUT HURRY – SALE ONE DAY!

“Unfortunately, the doctor was broken,” the nurse explained. “Do it No follow the link she gives you. ” The nurse added: “If you wish, we could meet you with Dr. Lapin. He is a Cialis bot who only prescribes Cialis. Oh, nothing: he’s out of your network. “

Advertising

“So, Maria,” Hugh said. Maria knew what would happen. Hugh was targeted by TurboTax. She knew this when they first met, but she couldn’t help but like him. He looked like a mix of her favorite Instagram accounts, and he shared all her interests. Graphic design, current events, coffee – there was nothing they could not talk about.

“Marie, I feel like I’ve known you all my life. When I’m talking to you about current events or coffee, it’s like I’m coming home. I’m just . . ». Hugh stopped and brushed the curls away from his big green eyes. “I just want to know that you get the maximum refund of your taxes.”

“Hugh…”

“Marie, if I don’t make you register for this tax season, TurboTax will hurt me and then they will kill me. I’ll let them do it – if your current tax decision really means so much to you. “

Maria bit her lip; she never knew what to say when he became like that.

Social life

“Promises, welcome to the week of virtual initiation,” said the head of the fraternity, smiling. “AKA, your personal nightmare.” Promises twisted. ΕΑΕ was known throughout the metaverse for its legendary cyber-kegers, complete with Nebraska-sized beer pong tables, but it would be hell to get into it.

“Piglets, do you think you’re safe here in the Facebook meta-universe just because we can’t slap you like in the ‘real world’?” – The chair smiled. “Bad news, piglets, here we can hit your digital days up to a billion times every second. Is that enough for you? ” A chill ran through the room as the threat engulfed him.

Account management

“So, Raghav, I heard you were deactivating,” Mark Zuckerburg said, a crooked smile on his face. This was the last and most difficult step in deactivating a Facebook account. After clicking “yes”, “confirm” and “deactivate now”, you were sent to a one-on-one meeting with Mark himself in the throne room of his palace on top of Mount Zuk.

Mark leaned back in his throne, keeping constant eye contact with Raghav, and ran his finger along the blade of the huge blue ax.

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