I talked to a family member in the morning. I knew she was awake because she had regular blood transfusions to treat invasive leukemia. Later, she sent me a voice recording of what had happened the previous evening, describing to everyone around her bed – basically how she was screaming for advice to keep her alive.
She said a nurse stayed by her bed 24 hours a day. She called the nurse her guardian angel. She was too emotional to continue talking. She is tired. The chemo is weak. Her life hangs in the balance.
She is very weak and understandable.
I repeat her voice a few times and hear a lot more from her voice. Management Fatigue. the pain. Worried about people at home. Her worry about what will happen tomorrow. She has many questions, but at the same time she is grateful for her guardian angel who saved her life that night.
At times like this I realize how little words can say. I want to comfort her, but again the verse seems small enough to make a difference to such a big wound. The dark cloud is so thick that it does not allow any light to shine on the horizon.
Many of us are (and are) trapped in a cloud without visible relief. You can’t see your hand in front of your eyes, so how do you find a way somewhere to get you out of crisis?
What can one say in such a situation? What do you do when you find yourself in such a life-changing situation? Nothing seems to be enough.
I believe this is the only place you can go. In fact, there is only one person who knows everything that happens. He looks in the dark. He knows where the exit is.
We must put everything in his hands. We must keep His hand, for He is the only one who truly knows what is happening and where we are really going and how we can get out of that dark cloud.
Because he promises: 16 Therefore let us go to him and get what he has to offer. Have mercy, accept help.
I really don’t know how one of our family members walks through the darkness. I know even less where she ends up. But I know that God knows. I also know that he is good for her and the rest of the family. He will give them all more than they deserve.
He will cover everyone in his love blanket. The only place where there is real rest and real peace.
And, yes, he is on duty with us 24 hours a day and he is our guardian angel.
Hebrews 4: 12-16
What is the thickness of your thunder cloud?
Where do you look for guidance?
Do you believe that God is with you?
Our father, I really wanted this now. I suffer, I fear the dark. Thank you for your promise that you are here with me. Please show me the way out of the darkness. In the name of Jesus, amen.